Donald Trump’s secret plan to rule the world (Satire)

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Many Americans are dismayed by the attitude Donald Trump has taken vis-a-vis Vladimir Putin, both before and after the 2016 election. Why, we have wondered, does Trump go out of his way to show a distinct preference for the Russian leader over long-standing US friends and allies? Why does he seem eager to engage Russian officials without regard for national security. To most Americans, this is a dangerous game, with no apparent benefit to national interests. To our traditional allies, it must appear as sheer madness.

But, could it be there’s a deeper meaning to such madness? Could it be part of a diabolical plan for world domination? Could Trump be an evil genius who has figured out a way to fulfill his egomaniacal dream of world conquest?

Consider this possibility:

1. Convince Putin that he (Trump) is a simpleton who really believes the US and Russia can co-exist as allies. To do this, Trump will promise to dissolve NATO, leave the G7, and lift all sanctions. He proposes a policy of favored trading partner between the two former enemies. He invites Putin to open embassies in every large American city, and in a spirit of transparency, invites Russian emissaries to view cabinet meetings in the White House. Trump suggests regular meetings with just himself, Putin and translators – no one else will be present.

The President asks for nothing in return.

This is exactly what Putin has been scheming to accomplish. This is why Russia rigged an election to favor Trump. He is now convinced of Trump’s incompetence and is satisfied that he can manipulate the American President to do whatever he wants. Confident he has Trump under his control, he mistakenly allows himself to relax and drop his guard.

Then, in a surprise Christmas Eve attack, US Navy seals invade a vodka-soaked Kremlin, take Putin hostage, and set up a provisional government with Steve Bannon as Governor.

2. Now with Russia under US control, Trump threatens to invade China, North Korea, South Korea and Japan unless they agree to the same arrangement as Russia. Since China can no longer rely on Russia, and North Korea has dismantled its nuclear arsenel, and South Korea is already dependent on the US, and Japan is an island, there is no choice but to allow additional provisional governments to take control. Don Jr. becomes regional Governor for Asia.

3. The Philippines becomes a penal colony for political enemies, with former President Rodrigo Duterte serving a dual role as Governor and Warden. Among the inmates are leaders of the G7 countries for which Trump held great contempt because they made him feel so inferior. Other incarcerees include Alec Baldwin, Kathy Griffin, Michael Avenati and the entire editorial staff of the New York Times.

4. With Russia, China and the Koreas in alliance with the US, all of Europe will have to accede unconditionally to US demands, and in effect be subjugated to US control under Gov. Ivanka Trump. She fulfills a life-long ambition by setting up both government headquarters and offices for her fashion business in Paris, France.

5. Canada and Mexico will then have no choice but to follow suit and fall in line. Both are governed by the other Trump son, Eric, who quickly deports all Canadian citizens to Mexico’s Yucatan peninsula, where in an act of revenge for Canada’s unfair treatment of the US, they are put to work in sweatshops making clothes for Ivanka’s company. They are also forced to declare their love for, and allegiance to, Donald Trump.

6. A blockade can then be constructed around all of South America, forcing the continent’s governments to surrender their independence to the US. A pardoned Mike Flynn becomes regional Governor. Flynn has Argentina scoured in hopes of finding escaped Nazi’s to fill his special police force. He is disappointed to learn that all known Nazi’s are deceased except for one 99-year-old who claims he was only following orders. Flynn’s disappointed – that’s just the kind of soldier he was looking for.

With this, Donald J. Trump will have conquered the world and declared himself “Supreme Leader of Trumptopia”.

But wait, there may be a problem. What if he forgets about the Middle East. (Trump never wanted anything to do with the so-called “shit hole” countries in Africa and Southeast Asia. And he didn’t consider Australia and New Zealand to be of any significance, so that’s not a worry). But this is different. Netanyahu and Jared Kushner are infuriated, but for different reasons. Netanyahu is upset that Trump has preempted his own machinations, and Kushner, because his desire to be Governor of the region is crushed. The Saudi Princes are also enraged, resulting in an Israeli-Arab alliance and the cessation of oil shipments to the rest of the world – olive oil from Israel and petroleum from Saudi Arabia.

In the flash of a spark plug, the provisional governments, in a state of panic over oil deprivation, quickly fall apart. Attorney General Jeff (yes, he’s still on the job) Sessions orders that Trump be placed under arrest and immediately jailed.

A trial quickly follows. The former President is defended by a gleefully vengeful Michael Cohen, and prosecuted with poetic justice by none other than Robert Mueller. As a final irony, the presiding judge turns out to be Merrick Garland, the Obama Supreme Court nominee that Mitch McConnell refused to present for confirmation.

When last seen, the now divorced former Supreme Leader of Trumptopia was reported to be in the Philippines watching what was left of Fox News (a befuddled Sean Hannity and an incoherent Jeanine Pirro) and sending tweets to his three remaining followers.

Wonder who they could be.

 

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The Cult of Donald Trump

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intellectualtakeout.org

Why are Donald Trump’s die-hard followers so fanatically steadfast in their support for such a flawed man? Because they are just like him, and his presidency validates their own distorted values and myopic view of the world.

“Others” have been rapidly closing in. Foreigners are encroaching on their territory by way of physical space, race, religion, language and lifestyle. Fear is the common thread. But now, after years of feeling persecuted for their beliefs and attitudes, they have at last been set free to reveal what they really think about their “elitist” jailers.

Thus, Trump is their spokesman hero, a liberator who perfectly articulates everything they had to keep bottled up and hidden away. He alone has freed them from their social and political dungeon. They have, in effect, connected their psychic wellbeing and self-worth to one person, a savior they would follow to the gates of perdition.

Trump wasn’t that far off the mark when saying he could shoot someone on 5th Avenue and people would still love him. Why? Because without Trump they simply would not be.

And that makes them members of a cult.

 

 

Trump Mini Me: A Political Novice Wreaks Havoc in Middle America

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Macomb Daily

Here’s a cautionary Tale for the normally sane who might be tempted to drink the Trump kool-aid again.

Karen Spranger, the now former Macomb County (Michigan) Clerk/Register of Deeds, was the center of a political storm that started the day she was elected as a Tea Party Republican last November. She had never run for, or held any previous political office, and some attributed her unlikely election to the prevailing mood of Macomb County voters who bought into the Trump movement – she was new to politics, so that had to be good.

The drama finally ended last Tuesday when a judge ordered Spranger removed from office for lying about her residency.

Like Trump, this political novice thought that she had complete authority over her office, and could do whatever she wanted. That included interfering with the normal functioning of her office in numerous ways, like firing anybody she wanted without going through human resources. The result was an office in disarray with a backlog of work that required a judge to intervene and order a swift resolution. (Which didn’t happen – the backlog remains for others to fix)

During Spranger’s fifteen months in office, there were 43 occurrences that contributed to an atmosphere of chaos within the office, and convinced many in county government that she lacked the requisite competence for the job. (Sound familiar?)

A sample of her brief but dramatic tenure:

  • Had her computer access cut off for a time after she allowed non-county workers to use it, resulting in a fine for ethics violations.
  • Fired the two top deputies who had helped her get elected, and who are now suing her.
  • Asked the county to fund an independent council so she could displace, reassign or demote unionized workers. The request was rejected.
  • Totaled her county car when she rear-ended another vehicle.
  • Sued by the county for obstructing a plan to move 2 of her offices to a new building.
  • She sued the county to lift a ban on weapons in her office.
  • She sued the county to have the court to declare her as “The Boss” in her office.
  • Caused the aforementioned work backlog which dismayed residents and confounded local businesses.

Running parallel to all of this was the charge that Spranger lied about her county residency. When an investigation was finally undertaken, it found that the house in which she claimed to be living had five feet of garbadge piled up throughout, making it impossible enter. A bulldozed had to punch an opening in the exterior to gain entry.

Spranger is now facing three criminal cases, including battery for kicking an employee and taking a non-employee to a conference in Washington, D.C. at the expense of the county – in addition to perjury for signing an affidavit with knowledge that what she reported was not true.

But as might be expected, Ms. Spranger is not going quietly. In a rambling document filed in federal court, she is seeking to have her position returned, and is demanding an immediate investigation and audit into possible crimes against the clerk’s office.

The document appears to be seeking intervention by Gov. Rick Snyder and makes mention of the use of the Michigan National Guard to “execute, suppress insurrection and repel invasion.”

The 11-page document is titled “administrative claim notice of administrative overthrow of a constitutional office clerk of court of Macomb County by rogue county agents.” Spranger wants the return of “all illegally removed files by those public officials who are in insurrection and rebellion and who have gone on strike against the constitution. Who have withheld and removed books, records, files from my County Clerk office.”

The topic listed on the document is “overthrow of a Constitutional Public Office violation” and the investigation and injunction would be to “stop the overthrow of a Constitutional Public Office.” The letterhead on the document is listed “class, Rodney-Dale, Private Attorney General, 14th Amendment section 4, Constitutional Bounty Hunter” out of Cleveland, N.C. Rodney Dale Class is listed as a “private attorney general” from North Carolina on the AntiCorruption Society website.

The document is filed to the attention of Gov. Snyder; U.S. Attorney Mike Stuart (whose district covers West Virginia); David Gelios, the former head of the Detroit FBI; the U.S. Attorney’s Office in Detroit, and President Donald Trump. It also lists a number of county officials who it claims violated the constitution and are guilty of insurrection and rebellion and “are committing mutiny”.

County Executive Mark Hackel appropriately labeled the filing as “gibberish.”

The best possible outcome would be for Karen Spranger to get the help she obviously needs. It’s also a cautionary tale of warning about making uninformed assumptions concerning what’s best for a community, state – or country.

Source: Detroit Free Press & michiganradio.org

 

Conservatives Fiddle While America Burns

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IAmMuslimToo Protest in Times Square. Source: Reuters

A fiercely conservative editor at The Detroit News, had an interesting column in Sunday’s February 19 edition about the effect Trump’s travel ban is having on the local Muslim community. He pointed out that while the executive action has greatly increased the stress level of Muslim-Americans, it has also had the surprising effect of greatly increasing support for the community from outside. Besides Detroit, cities across the country are witnessing large numbers of non-muslims protesting the ban.

At first glance the column seemed to be about a silver lining amidst despair – you know, feel good stuff. Instead, it turned into nothing more than another excuse to lick old wounds from the beating conservatives took – at their own hands it should be noted – during the previous administration.

The writer deftly turned a reprehensible action taken by the current “so-called” President – which turned out to have at least one positive effect – and used it as a false equivalent to note the expansion of the terror watch list during the Obama years.

Here’s the problem:

Obama is no longer President!

All that matters now is what happens next. Columns like the one cited here are nothing more than attempts to divert attention away from larger issues – a tactic that favored by conservatives in Congress, along with their band of merry apologists.

I realize that many Republicans were deeply traumatized by having to endure a President who didn’t fit the WASP standard – just as many of us now are with one who doesn’t fit the mental/emotional/decency standard. It’s amusing when the right tells liberals to “get over it”, and accept the fact that Trump’s the man now, when they themselves can’t get over and let go of their own painful memories.

The Detroit News column seemed to be taking the high road toward a deeper discussion about the ban, perhaps using it as an opportunity to discuss the unforeseen effects of government policies, whether one agrees with them or not. But it didn’t. Instead it lapsed back into partisan politics. (Of course having such a discussion means ignoring the elephant in the room that is Donald Trump’s mental impairment and the resulting dysfunction of his administration.)

But aside from the larger issues, it would’ve be interesting to know the writer’s opinion about the way this ban has resulted in renewed support for immigrants. Does he see it as a sign of hope, or as a threat? What’s being overlooked by people on either side? How do we uphold the democratic principles of personal freedom, life and liberty, while also securing borders? What does national security even mean? How does it relate to personal security? What if the greatest threat to both national and personal security is from within? We can close all the borders, chain the doors and lock down all the windows, but does that really solve the problem?

This is just me tossing out some of the things I’d like to see discussed apart from political ideology. But I guess that begs the question if it’s even possible.

Anyway, we could use more people willing to take on the real issues confronting democracy at present, and less misdirected chasing after phantoms from the past.

The Christian Church In America is Dead – Donald Trump’s Election Proves It!

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Christianity is, I believe, about expanded life, heightened consciousness and achieving a new humanity. –John Shelby Spong

Christian churches in America are social clubs. We do a nice job of providing excuses for people to exercise their instincts as a social animals. There are bowling teams, softball teams, basketball teams, ladies auxiliaries, youth groups and various boards on which to serve. We put on nice pot-luck dinners and serve coffee after worship services where members gather to discuss everything, except the content of the holy ritual they just attended. We discuss the sermon by noting it wasn’t too boring, but the delivery could still use some work. We do a good job administering the rites of passage. Baptisms, confirmations, marriages and funerals legitimize our existence as religious institutions.

Indeed, the church should be a comfortable place where the soul can find rest and a sense of belonging. But it should also be a place where our human foibles are constantly challenged, where spiritual growth is actively encouraged, where comfort does not become complacency, where the status quo is continually examined and questioned. Are we transformed by our church experience to deal with these issues as the “New Beings” we’re supposed to be? Does the Gospel message really speak to the human soul? Or, is it just platitude – without any real practical application.

The Christian church in America is not what it confesses to be. It’s like a shell washed up on the shore. It displays a solid exterior, but internally it is devoid of the material needed to sustain viability. In other words, it’s dead.

Missing The Mark
The ultimate proof of this moribund condition is the election of a President who fervently embodies anti-Christian beliefs and attitudes. His “Two Corinthians” comment aside, as president-elect, he didn’t even bother to feign a religious life or knowledge of Christian principles. His expressed values and attitudes embody the concept of missing the mark, which is the original meaning of the word, sin. We won’t attempt to enumerate his transgressions here, since nearly every word and action bears witness. His contempt for Christian values is palpable.

If churches were truly alive with the Holy Spirit, they’d have mounted a response so loud and vehement, the candidate would have been quickly dismissed. If Pastors took seriously their prophetic responsibility to speak for truth, their voices would have shaken churches from Spokane to Cape Cod. If individuals and congregations were actually infused with Christ consciousness, they would have reached out to enlightened the better angels of all Americans.

So where then was The Conference of Catholic Bishops – the same Bishops who otherwise never hesitate to declare positions on doctrine? Pope Francis was clear about his misgivings concerning the candidate, but aside from criticizing Trump’s comments on immigration, the Conference was shamefully silent.

And where were the family values-centric Evangelicals? Why were they silent about the President elect’s adultery and his amenability to sexual assault? Is the fear of changing cultural norms so great these Christian leaders would subvert their basic principles to the point of enabling one they would normally dismiss without a second thought? Does bondage to their doctrine, which prohibits abortion and denounces homosexuality, override reacting a greater danger? If so, it is a shameless betrayal of the one whose example they profess to follow.

A Symptom
That being said, the Church’s failure of conscience and responsibility in the recent election, is merely a symptom of deeper dis-ease. The real issue festers below the surface. It is a systemic dysfunction that dooms any effort to positively transform the human heart. With the exception of a few little known protestant denominations, Christian churches remain enmeshed in a world view, theology and religious language that has not changed in five-hundred years.

It is precisely this cultural dislocation that is responsible for the church’s present state of impotence. The election of Donald Trump is symptomatic of that impotence – the inability to confront fear and intolerance with a theology (language & symbols) that effectively expresses the ideals of love and compassion. Even if good intentions were present, the means to effectively act on them is not. It’s like trying to power a modern high-speed train with steam. No matter how much is generated, the train simply will not move.

The Church needs to find a new voice – a new theology – one that speaks to the spiritual and emotional needs of people in their present context. Musty vocabularies and dust-covered symbols can’t meet the need. The hierarchical model, on which churches were structured for centuries, may have provided an effective way to exert control over clergy and congregants, but it is not consistent with Gospel teachings. Monolithic organizational structures are antithetical to the new understanding of the God/human relationship that Jesus brought to the world. Instead of following the corporate concept of bigger is better, churches need to become smaller, with as little bureaucracy and paid staff as possible. Using 12-step groups as a model would be a good start. The minimalist self-supporting structure has worked well to keep groups focused and effective in their mission to aid the spiritual growth of recovering addicts.

Either Or
And so, the Church is left with a choice. It can either upgrade its software (theology) to become more user-friendly (relevant), or stay with a comfortably familiar but no longer effective way of doing ministry. Choosing the later means running the risk of empowering more like Donald Trump – or worse.

The spiritual needs of mankind haven’t changed in two-thousand years, but the way to nurture those needs has to evolve. It’s impossible to say whether or not the Church’s having a voice that speaks to the spirit of the present day would have made a difference in the election. Nevertheless, it can be assumed that a Church which is more fully engaged in its mission to live out the Gospel would have responded in a way that was more attuned to its core principles.

The Gospel message calls for living at a higher level of consciousness, in a state of grace, with unconditional love, forgiveness, charity and peace that passes normal human understanding. We need every bit of that right here and now.

So everyone who proclaims love and forgiveness to the world, is one with the Spirit and holds the peace of eternity in their heart. –Matthew 10:32 (RNV)

Donald Trump And The Forbidden Planet

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Source: Google Images

Watching the Donald Trump reality tour lead up to the election has brought to mind one of my all-time favorite sci-fi movies. It’s not difficult to see the drama being played out between Trump, the Republican Party, and the American public having a curious similarity to the movie plot.

Here’s a quick synopsis of Forbidden Planet, the classic from 1956: (Opening graphics look familiar?)

In the 23rd century an expedition from earth travels to a distant planet to learn what became of a previous expedition. They find a survivor, a scientist and who tells them about a highly evolved race (the Krell) which once inhabited the planet, but had mysteriously disappeared. They learn of an enormous atomic powered machine built by the Krell and capable of materializing anything imagined. Thus, it is possible to form and project matter with the power of thought.

But there’s a problem (no doubt). While projections could result from thoughts in the conscious mind, the same could be spawned by the unconscious mind. While the Krell built a culture which on the outside appeared orderly and beneficial, inwardly there was a massive amount of pent-up destructive desire which coalesced in the society’s collective unconscious to create an “Id Monster”, an indestructible energy force which inevitably turned on them and ultimately wiped them out.

Using the film as an analogy, the GOP then represents the Krell and Donald Trump is the Id Monster, the manifestation of the Party’s repressed dark side which cannot be contained or controlled. The harder the party has tried to hold it back, the bigger and more powerful it has become, until finally bursting forth with full defiant, unapologetic, narcissism. It first appeared diffusely as the Tea Party, and now in concentrated perfection as a supremely destructive force.

Just as the Id Monster was created from the Krell’s own repressed but powerful desires, Trump is a monster of the Republican Party’s own making, created from the energies of its entrenched destructive impulses, buried beneath the veneer of respectability. Publicly, the party uses words designed to convince Americans it really is about inclusiveness and concern for the wellbeing of all. But a leopard can’t change its spots, and the repressed side of the Republican psyche remains.

Behind closed doors, in the belly of the base, the same old GOP lurks, stubbornly unrepentant, hostile toward those who are different, afraid of change and anything that departs from the “way God intended”. It’s here, where the party’s collective unconscious has coalesced to bring forth its own version of the Id Monster. The Donald has become a force unto himself. He cannot be controlled and all attempts to eliminate him have failed. He has become a poison for which there is no known antidote.

This is reminiscent of another sci-fi classic – Alien. There’s a scene where it’s revealed that Ash, the ship’s science officer, is actually a machine which has been instrumental in bringing a murderous creature on board. Before being terminated by the crew, he informs them that the monster they’re dealing with is hostile in the extreme and also indestructible. His last bone-chilling words are, “You have my sympathy”.

Same goes for America.